From the eyes of innocence
by Murron Bartlett
Summary: The story of the final battle told from the buggers point of view.


Author's note. This is a chapter out of a much longer story that I wrote years ago after reading Ender's game for the first time. I do not own Ender's game or the Bugger race. I do however own Tehr and Faran and their story. I own their perception of what happened at the final battle so please don't steal it. If anyone would like to read more of the story, please get in touch. This is mearly my favourite bit. Please, as always, read and review.

"Do they know that we come in peace?"

Tehr sat on the bridge of the bugger star ship, eyes gazing out of the starboard viewing port, watching as the stars rushed past her. The shimmering balls of fire were home to her. They were her lifeline, her ticket to the freedom that she yearned for, being the only bugger queen with any sense of self. Tehr belonged in the stars, seeing many worlds and analysing many varieties of alien life, and now she was journeying further than she ever had prior to this mission, journeying to the human's home world. Yet they were not far from their own home. If she concentrated her energy, Tehr could still hear and feel the voices and minds of the other Buggers back home, meaning that they were not far.

Tehr hadn't seen the little blue green planet before, but doubted they would get that far. She had seen many pictures of it, from the left over footage from the war eighty years before, the war that had resulted in a mass slaughter on the part of the ruthless Mazer Rackham.

Those stories were legendary on the Bugger planet, and Tehr had been schooled on what they had learned of human behaviour, WHICH WAS CONSIDERABLY MORE THAN WHAT THE HUMANS HAD LEARNED OF THEM. Tehr's ancestors of eighty years ago, had journeyed to Earth to try and establish a colony among the natives, but had been repulsed, refused entry onto the planet, and had been feared ever since. Tehr still had no idea why the people of Earth feared them, but also had a nagging feeling that she and her crew mate would find out pretty soon.

Next to Tehr, . lounging comfortably in a flight chair, Faran's eyes were also locked exclusively on the approaching planet. The computer screens in front of them displayed ever growing images of the planet Earth, still many thousands of miles sunward.

Faran, a bugger of the male gender, had promised whole heartedly to accompany Tehr and her flight crew on their mission to broker an end to the fighting. Faran and Tehr, the leaders of the bugger colony, the king and queen if their vocabulary allowed for the titles, were naturally the ones to fly at the head of the swarm of star ships, and they, naturally, would lead their people into Earth's territory. Those whom she commanded would follow the Queen through the gates of hell if they had to, but they would follow without understanding, not knowing what they were in for. Tehr's people, unlike herself, had a psychic hive mind, and thus, did what she did and thought the way she herself thought, so whether they liked it or not, they would accompany her.

"Do you think they know that we come in peace?" Tehr asked again.

"I do not know," Faran replied, glancing at Tehr as he spoke. "I do certainly think that we are taking a great risk in entering this sector. I had word from one of the soldiers that they have been training up some human super soldiers, in an attempt to defy us, though I do not fully understand why they think that they need to fight us." "

Tehr nodded, an all too human reaction that one performs when one agrees with what the other has said. It was an idiosyncrasy that she had adopted while studying the humans threw the eyes of Ender Wiggin. "I have seen these soldiers," she told her male companion. Her eyes were wide with bug-like curiosity as she continued. "I have been communicating with their chief soldier, a young and vulnerable boy by the name of…" She paused here, as if trying to recall a complex and long dormant memory. "Ender Wiggin," Tehr supplied finally, "he has been traumatised somewhat by our probing questions. He is beginning to question the moral integrity of what the humans in charge have been teaching him. I fear that he is losing his mind."

"So will he show us understanding?" Faran asked, voice low with innocent concern. "Will he know that we mean him and his human friends no harm?"

"I cannot say," Tehr acknowledged as if the mear admission of her concern was causing her some discomfort.

They flew on. Behind their mother ship, many smaller Bugger ships flew in close formation, each manned by one of Tehr's fello species. Tehr had no need to look round. She knew that they would be there. No bugger, aside from the highest in the colony, had an ability to think for themselves, so she knew that her wishes were her peoples' collective command.

Tehr flew steadily, edging closer and closer to the territory of Earth. She was a good pilot, and they flew very fast, closing the gap between them and the battle school with every passing nanosecond.

They were, unknowingly, flying right into the worst mass slaughter they had ever entered into. The International Fleet had decided to attack first, to show the Buggers who commanded space.

But how could Tehr have known? She had no idea that the human invasion fleet, led by the eleven year-old Ender Wiggin, had already been dispatched and were drawing nearer to the unaware alien fleet. The Buggers had no desire for another war.

But of course, the humans didn't know that. Or, more accurately, they were refusing to believe that they may have be mistaken. After all, humans do not usually like to admit that they are wrong, and would go to any lengths to prove themselves right. Humans, unbeknown to Tehr or Faran, also instinctively hated and feared what they couldn't understand. And the thing that they had no hope of understanding, were the Buggers themselves.

Tehr was unaware when the first ships were attacked, attacked from behind, human style. But she became aware of the absence of many minds and she knew with some level of dark certainty, that they were once again under attack.

"They are gaining on us," Faran told her, as if Tehr didn't know. His eyes were wide with frightened hurt, as if the pain of the dying was his own. Tehr wished that she knew what to say to him. Faran was new to the concept of fighting. He knew little about the humans, and was panicking.

"We will have to defend ourselves," Tehr said quietly, sending the mental instruction to her people behind her, those who were still living anyway. She could feel their collective understanding of her orders, and spun their ship around to face their opponents.

They were sleek crafts, of the highest quality and design. They were human in origin. So, the humans were after them. They did not know that the Buggers came in peace. Their grudge was still niggling away at them, and they were coming to wipe the Buggers out once and for all. Tehr's many efforts to telepathicly communicate with Ender Wiggin had failed, and they had decided to blow them out of the sky before the Buggers got the chance.

Tehr felt her heart sink. She didn't want to do this. She did not want to kill, but she had no choice. Her people were in danger. And her job was to defend. To protect.

Two more small Bugger star crafts were taken down within a few seconds. Tehr watched, as the star ships blazed with white hot fire and fell to pieces, killing the occupants inside instantly. Fire roared through the sky, as the ships melted into nothing. More voices and minds disappeared from Tehr's head as she watched them die, and she pressed at the firing stud, taking out a few of their ships in return.

These humans had excellarated their technology somewhat since the last war, and they were greatly outnumbered. Whoever was commanding them, was commanding very well. Their tight formations, calculated for both attack and defence, were very well executed and Tehr could not hope to compete. She took a few more of the human space crafts out, but her ships were no match for those operated by the humans.

"We are losing," Faran was saying, voice dejected and sorrowful. He was terrified.

Tehr fired again, once again taking out their ships, knowing that if they refused to defend themselves, they would most certainly die.

"Retreat!" she called, sending the mental command to her remaining crew members. She had no choice any more. Her people were losing and losing badly. Tehr sighed. There was no point, she told herself, in fighting a war that you couldn't possibly win.

The star ships that were left, turned around and followed the mother ship across the skies.

But the humans were gaining. More and more of the Bugger ships went down in flames and howls of innocent agony, and as they neared the Bugger home world, the tactics of the humans suddenly changed.

Tehr watched, with a kind of doomed fascination, as the ships belonging to the human fleet, formed into one solid mass, all taking aim at one central point.

Only Faran's stiffening at her side, and his despairing groan, alerted Tehr to the very real danger they were in. She became aware of where the humans were directing their fire power, and a dead weight settled in the region of her mind.

The explosions of sound and light were enough to strip their own ship of its shields. Tehr blinked, trying to force her eyes to adjust to the sudden and piercing light.

When she looked again, what had been their home world, was now a black hole. Her planet, her home, was now nothing but a memory. The space where it had been was enough to tell her that and she sank back in her flight chair, no longer able to keep up the fight. The humans had gone one step further in their attempts to punish them, and had destroyed the only home she, faran and their crew had ever known.

She let out a scream of heart broken fury and grief, , as their planet split into atoms which drifted off into the distance.

Tehr could no longer feel or hear the voices of her fellow Buggers inside her head. There were no longer any voices to hear. In one fell swoop, every Bugger but she and Faran, had been killed, killed without mercy. Killed before they had had a chance to explain themselves. Tehr's head was empty, and so was her soul. Ender Wiggin had done his job well.

"We need to try and find a safe place," Faran said in a horse voice, low and tremulous with emotion. He took the controls from Tehr and turned their ship around, glad that the human fleet hadn't seen them.

The toil through space, away from the black hole that had, until recently, been their home, was exhausting and cold. The sensation of emptiness, and the absolute completion of it, filled the ship. Tehr could only sit in futility and dwell upon their failure.

She had a plan forming in her numb brain. It was a plan that may not work, but it was the only one she had. As Faran took their ship far away, presently landing it on a disregarded asteroid, Tehr finalised her plans.

She had to find Ender. She had to try and summon him to her. She had to force him to listen to her. She had been studying Ender now for quite a while, telepathically delving into his mind, and knew that he had an intellect far beyond that of his fellow human recrutes. Ender was a clever child, a bit too bright when one thought about it. He was also compassionate, and was not a killer at heart. Ender Wiggin had been manipulated into this by the human teachers at his battle school, and deep within her soul, Tehr knew that he was finding this act of major planet death as appalling and horrible as she was. After all, someone that intelligent, someone as compassionate as Ender was, would never have done that willingly. Tehr wondered whether Ender knew yet that he had just personally brought around a major planetary genocide. She suspected that he did not. After all, brutal killing was what his older brother Peter took pleasure in, and she had tried time and time again to convince him that he was nothing like Peter. In any case, Tehr knew how the battle had been faught. Those ships had been commanded by Ender from the battle school, and Ender himself had not been present. To Ender, the Bugger war was a simulated battle game, so for him, there was no moral responsibility involved. To Ender, Tehr's people had mearly been projected pixilated images on a screen, not real at all. If they weren't real to him, how could he have felt anything for their collective passing?

Faran was lying on the floor of their ship, having disengaged the autopilot and engines. He was oozing misery from every pour, and Tehr climbed from her flight chair to lie by his side, trying her best to offer some semblance of comfort. The floor was cold beneath her body, but she was so tired and consumed with grief that she minded not at all.

"Come friend," she said gently, voice sounding hollo and unrealistic to her ears, "we're all we have left. We have to keep together."

Tehr closed her eyes and drifted, unable to do anything else. One can be in peek physical health, but when misery is forced upon you, it can prove, if possible, even more shattering than the worst disease in the universe. Tehr and Faran, had lost everyone and had no home left. The only things that could be counted as their own, were this ship, and the small cluster of eggs nestled in a safe place in a corner of the ship.

That was all they had left in the universe.

Ender, felt broken. His soul had been split in half by the shattering of the Bugger planet, and he would never be the same again. Guilt is a powerful thing, and Ender was feeling the full force of it pressing in upon him like a cold slab of led. The tears he so longed to shed, were refusing to show themselves. All he could do, was lay in the darkness on his bed, his desk cast aside on the floor, eyes shut and hot with the guilt and shame. The whole school was on lock down. It was pitch black around him, and the sounds of gunfire and shouting had completely siesed .

Petra and Bean had left him alone hours before, and Ender no longer knew where they were. Graff and Mazer Rackham had also left, after Ender had told them to leave him alone.

"You have killed an entire species," Ender said to himself, "You will bear the shame of this genocide for ever. You will be remembered as a monster. As a killer. And I deserve it."

"You need to come to let us explain," whispered another mental voice, deep within the miserable confines of Ender's mind. "We are waiting. Come to us, and we will explain. We oe you that."

Ender sat up. Who was that? He glanced around, but he was still alone.

"Ender Wiggin!" called the voice. It sounded pretty, soft, female, and alien. "Ender Wiggin. We need to explain. Ender Wiggin."

Ender had no memory of crossing the room and leaving the dormetry. He was also not aware of walking down the long corridors, and down to where the space shuttles were parked. He knew that these were forbidden places to go for those at the battle school, that Graff would skin him alive if he knew what Ender was planning to do, but if he was being honest with himself, Ender had no interest in what Graff thought.

He let himself enter one of the space shuttles, subconsciously following the femmanin voice that was drawing him closer. He had learned how to fly a craft, flying being an important lesson in Battle School. He followed the call, not knowing who was calling him. The only females to whom he could confidently show any trust or affection were Petra and Valentine, but he could tell that this female was neither of them. He didn't recognise the call or the species, for he could tell that this female was not of human origin.

The inky void of space was forcing itself in upon Ender like a crushing blanket, only lightened by the tiny balls of fire that were the stars. His battle ships had toiled through this void hours before, controlled by himself and his troops. The knife of shame and overwhelming guilt was twisting and slicing at his insides. He had led those soldiers to their deaths, in order to win. Winning had been all that he was capable of thinking of. Ender had killed those soldiers, and then, if that wasn't enough, he had led the rest of them into a mass planetary genocide. His guilt was profound. His shame was palpable.

"Come to me Ender," called the female voice again, and Ender adjusted his position. "Come to me. I owe you an explanation. You are in pain, and I wish to do what I can."

Ender landed his craft on a deserted asteroid, knowing that his helmet would supply him with continuous oxygen. He squinted through the viewing ports, and saw one of the Bugger ships lying on the surface of the asteroid, it shields burned away and its metal hull damaged. It had taken some heavy fire, but it had been one of the few ships that had survived the battle. Were the occupants of this ship still alive? Ender clambered out of his shuttle to investigate.

The occupants must be alive. It was from there that the female voice was coming. She at least, was alive. Was she one of the Buggers?

"We have been waiting for a meeting with you, Ender," the femmanin voice said quietly, only out loud this time, as opposed to inside his head. She was clearly visible, far more beautiful to Ender than her people had appeared on videos. "My name is Tehr, and I am… eh… was, the queen of the species that you call the Buggers."

"How," Ender swallowed hard and began again. "How can you speak to me? And how are you alive? I thought we killed all of you. Graff said that we had killed all of you."

"Our ship was neglected by your army," the creature called Tehr told him in a soft and melodic voice. Her eyes were wide with anxious fear as she gazed Ender's way. "You did your job well."

Ender squeezed his eyes shut. This innocent creature, had told him that he was a good commander. Why was she complimenting him? He had killed ninety nine percent of her people. She should hate him should she not?

"Are there any more of you?" he asked.

Tehr gave an almost human like nod. "There is my friend," she said softly, "but he is consumed with grief. Our people have been completely wiped out and we have no longer got anywhere to go."

Ender felt another stab of guilt. This was all his fault. He had caused these creatures to lose everything.

"I feel that I owe you some information Ender," Tehr told him. "We know a lot about your species, and we know that you understand little of our own. Your technologies have excelerated greatly since my ancestors went to your planet eighty Earth years ago, but you have not yet achieved the gift of understanding. You see," Her bug-like eyes fixed his, with unmistakeable intelligence, "we came in peace. We came in peace eighty years ago and we meant you no harm. We came to Earth to try and establish a colony amongst you, and we had no idea that you thought us frightening. Understand us Ender we came in peace. We just wanted to expand our race, and had no desire for humans to die. We had no desire for a war. We didn't want to kill anyone."

Ender couldn't help it. Tears did now begin to slide down his face, as his grief swepped ovr him in a fresh and powerful wave. He fell to his knees, as if he had been hit from behind.

Tehr put out a bug-like hand to touch him gently. "I know that your pain cuts deep Ender," she said quietly. "I have been trying to communicate with you for some time using your fantasy game that you were playing during the hours of relative freedom. I showed you images of your older brother, your older sister and our species, in the hope that you would put everything together in the end, and understand that we meant no harm."

"So that was you?"

"It was."

Ender rubbed at his eyes with the back of his hand and, in a choked up voice, said, "how can I help? I didn't know that those games were real. I never meant you any harm. How can I help?"

Tehr's voice was low. "You can take my children to a safe planet, and help me re-establish my species once more."

"Your children?"

Tehr nudged her small cluster of Bugger eggs towards him. Ender picked them up. They were small, almost pitifully so, and he was surprised that one of the two remaining Buggers left was intrusting her peoples' killer with her own children. Had she forgiven him?

"I have indeed forgiven you Ender," Tehr told him quietly. Her voice was very beautiful, soft and gentle, like rolling water. "In fact, what once seemed to be the worst possible outcome now reveals itself to be the best of luck. It means that you can help me allow my people to be reborn. Can I count on your help?"

Ender nodded. "Of course I'll help. It's the least I can do for you."

"I thank you Ender. And," Tehr touched his hand again in obvious and intelligent sympathy. "Please try not to allow your grief to consume you. I will meet you again once our colony has been re-established. I hope that one day I will see my people thrive once more, and me and my friend will join you. Just try and live your life as best you can."

"I'm not sure I can," Ender whispered. "It's too hard."

"Be strong. Fight it. There are some things worth fighting for. Will you do this for me?"

"Of course I will.

Ender stood, making his way back towards his ship, still clutching the Bugger eggs in his hands. He carried them carefully as he once again strapped himself into his shuttle, wondering what Bean and Petra and even Graff would think about his mission, to bring the Bugger race back from the dead. He ingaged his autopilot and began to make his way back to the battle school, knowing that Tehr, the last remaining queen of the Bugger race, would remain with him in spirit. She would make sure that he wasn't alone, and would help him in his quest to bring back her people.

"I promise you Tehr," he told this telepathic being silently, knowing that she would be able to hear him, "I will do everything I can to bring your people back. I promise you."

And Ender Wiggin had a new mission. But now, he would share his mission with the Buggers, his once unknowing enemies that were now his friends.

It is a funny thing when one achieves understanding. We find that our perception of the world is altered, and we find that new horizons of information becomes available to us. On this night, not twenty four hours after the geneside of the Bugger race, they were now friends. One of the world's more successful wars, if Ender was thinking about it the right way.


End file.
